Monday, March 3, 2008


Alright, confession time. I watched Dr. Phil yesterday. Truitt was napping and I was being lazy, so, Kayci and cuddled on the couch and watched Dr. Phil. (Does this violate Man-Law 112.03b?)

Anyways, the topic was "Sex and Teens." Bishop Jakes was a special guest who appeared to be co-hosting the show with the Phil-master.

The guests were:
-An abstinence teacher who sees abstinence as the only way. He was a pastor for many years. To say the least, he is very passionate about abstaining from sex until marriage.
-A 21-year-old who learned under the "abstinence teacher." She thinks that teens should be given more information concerning contraceptives, diseases, and the human body. She felt that the teacher used scare tactics to drive people to abstinence.
-A 14-year-old girl and her mother who began having sex at the age of 13 with her mothers consent. Her mother felt that she was old enough and mature enough to make decisions on her own.
-An 18-year-old who is committed to remaining a virgin until marriage.

This was a great dialogue with some outstanding questions and concerns. Bishop Jakes was phenomenal, as he continued to challenge people to raise the bar.

Here are some facts:
-A 10-year-old is able to reason better than a 14-year-old because a young teenager's brain goes through a "pruning" stage. This is fact; not opinion.
-"Abstinence only" programs have not been working.

Here are some questions worth considering:
-Should schools be allowed to hand out condoms and birth control pills with parental consent? Without parental consent?
-Should information about sex, contraceptives, and the human body be given to teenagers in a health class?
-What is the role of parents in the sex ed process?

Over a year ago, a mother of a teenager told me that she was considering giving her 14-year-old daughter birth control pills because she was certain the daughter was already sexually active. I informed her of my conviction that contraceptives can protect against teenage pregnancy and some sexually transmitted diseases, but they DO NOT protect a teenager, or an adult for that matter, against psychological, emotional, and social damage. They do not protect one's dignity, self-esteem, or character.

Feel free to weigh in.


Anonymous said...

First, yes .... you did violate the man law.

Very interesting post. When I was teaching I found that many parents do the ostrich thing, they stick their heads in the sand hoping that this phase in their teens life will just kind of pass by. Instead of preparing themselves (and their teen) they expect schools, ministers, and programs to keep their kids out of trouble.

I don't say this as if I have the answer; however, the answer is NOT to ignore the issue. Parents must take a greater role in teaching (and yes, protecting) their teens from what is considered the "thing to do."

Sorry I got so wordy.

Rick Ross said...

Any time you spend time cuddling with your wife, it may violate some peoples' definition of "man law." But the dividends are worth it!

You have raised a complicated issue. The issue is one of purity. And the sin is not in getting pregnant. I think, like Jakes -- we raise the bar. We continue to remind kids of the stats: Monogamous sex is the best sex. Save yourself for your life mate. Because Hollywood is bombarding them with a different message.

Ash, Kel & Ella said...

My thoughts on this subject just got a whole lot more serious about 4 months ago when my wife and I had a baby girl.

My first thought...come teenage years send my daughter to her room for 6 or 7 years.

Second thought...get a gun.

Third has to be talked about. I had/have great parents but it was never talked about.

Unfortunately sex is all around our kids. Myspace, facebook, spam, MTV, movies, etc. Our kids are going to see it. The burden is on the parents to talk and explain the uncomfortable topics.

I rather my daughter learn about sex from Kelly and I than from MTV or some perv on Myspace!

Josh Ross said...

I am confident in my masculinity, so I can break man-law every once in a while. Get off my back. :)

Dude, you're cracking me up. We can talk more about this at our Tigers game in less than a month. I hope that it warms up in Detroit before I get up there. I can't function when it is cooler than 50.

Ash, Kel & Ella said...

No promises on the weather. Yesterday it was in the 50's. Today it's in the 30's. Tomorrow we're supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow.

You never know when it comes to the weather in MI.